Biology Bloopers  Harry's affect on Salinity
by SherriandJasmin
Summary: Slighty disturbing yet very entertaining real life conversation between Sherri& i. Detailing how we come up with ideas for Fanfic includes harry potter, Cherub, Glee, Twilight&family guy this was written after a rumor circulated that sherri& i are lesbos


_When writing our biology report on salinity Sherri and i became distracted and went completely off topic. Our friend Jack who had no interest in helping us with our biology report went off and did his own thing. Think of this as the bloopers to an incredibly boring report on soil salinity. For those who dont know what salinity is it is when salt from under the ground rises up with underground water supplys and messes wit the soil. it causes heaps of problems for farmers and stuff._

_We were tempted to submit this to our teacher but thought better of it. P.S. if you are easily offended by frivalous references to homosexuality then do not continue. I hope you enjoy and if you come up with any other bloopers feel free to review and i will post them._

_Disclaimer: we own none of the characters except Jack (he's totally our bitch.) and well ourselves but jack seems to think that we sold our souls to the devil. What he doesnt know is that hell doesnt want us, heaven doesnt want us basically were stuck on earth. Jack also thinks we're the devils daughters in human costume and that this is all just a sick game for us. It kind of is. _

Jasmin Says: As salt concentraction increases, water becomes increasingly difficult for the plant to absorb.

Sherri Says: WTF!

Jasmin says: When theres alot of Fcuking salt in the water the plant cant drink it.

Sherri says: ohhhhh (then proceeds to write the translation down) Um what reduces salinty.

Jasmin reads the passage on the reduction of soil salinity, to sherri. sherri is beyond confused

Jasmin gives up then cracks up laughing.

Sherri says: Whaaaaaat, tell me!

Jasmin says: i was just thinking of fanfic and got confused with the biology thing. i no word of a lie went to write down, harry potter has gay sex with malfoy. . . salinity drops 15 percent.

Sherri in the grip of a laughing fit manages to say: Harry Potter Turns Down Ginny Weasley . . . Salinity drops 15 percent

Jasmin Says: yeah and he announces his homosexuality and all the farmers rejoice and . . . . Get hard.

Still laughing the girls continue only just understanding each other. anyone else would have heard gibberish.

Sherri says: Harry potter has gay sex with fred and george . . . salinty drops 30 percent.

Jasmin Says: Ginny and hermione catch Harry and george making out, they are also making out. they look at each other with expressions of complete shock on their faces. Fred comes out of the bathroom naked and says "im ready" in a sing songy voice. This breaks the ice and they go back to hooking up.

Jasmin and Sherri Say: and salinity drops 15 percent.

Jasmin says: Harry Catches Dumbledore and snape in the midst of a love affair

Sherri Says in a fake shocked voice: Salinty RISES 50 Percent

Jasmin says: No salinity RISES 69 percent.

The girls crack up laughing.

Sherri Says: Harry turns down ron . . . salinity stays the same.

Jasmin Says: Remus and Mad-eye are trapped in a cave and release each others tension. . . Salinty drops 1 percent.

Sherri says: Sherri turns the world gay salinity drops 100 perecnt.

Jasmin Says: Seth Macfarlane creator of Family guy falls in love with Harry whilst harrys Very convincingly dressed as a women . . . salinity Rises 100 percent

Sherri Says: Stewie and Jasmin become insanely jealous of Harry and assinate him.

Jasmin says: sherri you know me so well, oh and salinity drops 50 percent.

Sherri laughs shaking her head since she knows Jasmin is fantasizing about seth.

Jasmin Says: oh and through a shamless buy back harry potter is resurrected so J.K Rowling can kill him off again.

Sherris says: and salinity drops 15 percent

Jasmin says: Maybe we should do our biology assignment

The girls share a look.

Jasmin and Sherri say: nahh screw it.

Sherris glances at jasmins bookshelf and laughs,

Jasmin Says: What?

Sherri says: James explores his sexuality with Kyle and Chris Griffin walks in. He then turns away screaming to Meg. Meg says "what is it, the evil monkey'

Chris says "no James and Kyle (he whispers) are doing it."

Meg grabs chris by the collar and adopts a threatening tone "where?"

Chris shuts his eyes and points down the hall. Meg drops her brother then runs off in that direction screaming like an excited fan girl.

Jasmin Says: wait when did cherub come into this.

Sherri Says: shut up and go along with it Fuck face

Jasmin Says: When meg arrives lois has joined in on james and kyles 'fun.' meg goes into a jealous rage and kills lois, stewie walks past and sees dead lois. He is delighted, he jumps up and down clapping his hand saying 'oh goody.' Brian walks past and in his monotone voice says " ohh why am i not surprised that meg beat you to the one thing you've strived to acheive from the moment of your birth, stewie rolls his eyes "how did i know you were going to say something like that." brian walks off, meg runs away screaming with blood on her hands, stewie snaps a pic of naked kyle and james. He runs away laughing giddily, then suspiciously closes his bedroom door.

Sherri says: Dude you know i know nothing about family guy.

Jasmin Says: Well deal with it

Jasmin then goes on a ten minute spiel explaining family guy. That starts with her explaining the characters and their relationships and ends in her drooling while talking about seth macfarlane.

Sherri pretends to listen to Jasmin then stops her as she is contemplating the size of Seths 'appendage'

Sherri says: ooh ooh renesmee becomes best friends with Santana and brittany, she tells them about how she has only ever had sex with Jacob. Santana talks her into getting her ladykisses on. reneesme enters the world of teen bi curosity and finds herself thinking about alyce. . . constantly.

Jasmin says: and salinity drops 10 percent.

Sherri says: ha i forgot about the salinity thing

Jasmin says: Really? i mean the whole reason your here tonight is so we can do an assignment on salinity.

Sherri says: Then why is jack here?

Jasmin Says: so we can have our way with him

Jack shouts from other room: You'll never take my virtue

Sherri and jasmin shout back: Fine we dont need you we have each other

Jasmins mum shouts: shut up you guys im trying to sleep

Sherri says: You know this isnt going to help our case

Jasmin Says: What the one where we insist were not lesbians.

Sherri says: Yeah especially since were so fascinated with the gay world.

Jasmin Says: giggity giggity, giggty goo.

The reference is lost on sherri for about five minutes.

Sherri says: ohhhhhhhhh thats what that guy from Family guy says, but wait isnt he straight.

Jasmin says: yeah thats the point im trying to steer the conversation away from gay relations.

Sherri says: okay soo ron has sex with hermione and,

Jasmin Interrupts: do you know what i think, there's a reason why were so fascinated with gay sex

Sherri says: yeah i know right, straight affairs are so boring

Jasmin Says: i mean come on ron and hermione that relationship was supposed to happen, who wants to read about whats supposed to happen.

Sherri Says: okay okay. finn and kurt follow their parents on their honeymoon.

Jasmin says: ooh ooh and they hook up

Sherri says: Shut up fuck face i was getting to that, anyways they hook up (jasmin claps her hands with a big smile on her face.) Their parents catch them and have a talk with them. Finn nervously says "im not gay i just love kurt so much its confusing. Mean while james and kyle are listening in on the conversation since it way more interesting then the room they are surveilling.

james say "oh that finn guy is such a queer" kyle punches james in the arm,

"whats that supposed to mean"

"Nothing man, you know i have nothing against gays."

Kyle sulks and james puts his arms around him as an unspoken apology. Ewart walks in and thinks he has walked in on a 'personal moment' theres an awkward pause and to make things worse james jumps up and says this isnt what it looks like. Ewart says "dont worry about it, sometimes zara hires a male prostitue to spice up the bedroom. Most of the time she makes me hook up with the guy while she watches, so i know how enjoyable the touch of another man can be" James and Kyle look at each other then run to window and throw up.

Jasmin says: i should have brought my painkiller

Sherri says: what was that too painful

Jasmin says: are you kidding me ewart, Zara, male prostitute thats hot. Its my leg, its killing me

Sherri says: oh thats why your limping,

Jasmin Says: No duh Fuckface

Sherri says: hey thats my word

Jasmin continues completely off topic: ooh i had this seth macfarlane day dream right and he saw me in the crowd so after he finished giving a speech he came to talk to me. He accidently heard you and i talking on the phone about how i badly i want to jump him then,

Sherri says: what happens

Jasmin Says: wait for it fuckface.

Sherri say: stop stealing my word

jasmin ignores her

Jasmin Says: so i say "uh you heard that"

Seth replies slightly embarrased "yeah, yeah i did"

"well atleast everythings out in the open" i said

"yeah and now i dont have to lie about my age"

i look slightly uncomfortable then say "if your not lying then i guess i should tell you im seventeen"

Slightly downtrodden seth says "oh crap"

"but im emancipated" i replied with a smile on my face.

"wow thats fantastic, you know i was actually coming over to start a conversation so i could see you again but after hearing that mildly disturbing conversation i guess all i really have to say is that i have a king size bed and im the only one sleeping in it.

"i have a car thats closer"

"i have a bottle of vodka" said seth

"i hate condoms"

"oh you win how do i even compete with that" seth grinned at my comment and then all my dreams came true.

sherri rolls her eyes at jasmin then takes another puff on her ciggerette.

Sherri says: okay jasmin i think thats enough seth macfarlane for you

jasmin gives sherri the finger

Sherri says: do you know what i want to happen in a fanfiction Kurt and Rosalie should totally meet. That would be a major bitchfest.

Jasmin says: yeah and theyd probably end up starting a war that kills more people that salinity kill plants

Sherri says: yeah and salinity kills a fuckload of plants

Jasmin says: yeah about like 14 million oh wait no thats some shit to do with the land it affects, my bad.

Sherri says: you know We should actually hand the our bloopers into Mr Watt i mean jacks recorded them hasnt he

Jack shouts from the lounge: of course i did

Jasmin says: *Sarcasm* ohh yeah lets give this to our gay biology teacher, and see if he still likes us. Smart sherri smart.


End file.
